Sunday, October 30, 2011

I cry out, "Abba, Father"

Ephesians 1:4-6 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the beloved.

Do you ever think how cool it would be if we found out that we were really an heir to the royal family? What a surprise that would be. Maybe we would be invited to the Palace and would be able to sit at the table with the King and Queen. We would just kind of be “grandfathered in” to positions because of our position as heir. It wouldn't be like they actually knew us. They would just invite us only because of our position in the royal family.

Well, I have even better news than this. Those who are in Christ, actually are of the Royal Family…the Royal Blood line of Christ and a member of the Family of God. We will sit with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords one day and we won’t be “grandfathered in.” He will know us and we will know Him. We will all cry, “Abba, Father,” which translates “Daddy.” Can you imagine? We will be calling the King “Daddy.”

I have not ceased to praise my Lord and King this week and I cry out Abba, Father. As some of you know, my 13 year old sons, Charlie and Chad, were from my first marriage. My ex-husband was not exactly a very involved father and as the years went by, it became less and less frequent that he visited, called, or sent gifts until finally 4 years have passed without a word. After my divorce and I had given my life to Jesus, I waited on God to bring me a husband. But you see, I didn’t want any old husband, I wanted a father for my children…one they could call “Daddy.” I knew they had been abandoned, but I also knew God would provide. Many of my friends told me not to expect too much and not to be too disappointed if God didn’t bring me a husband who felt that special feeling for my sons. After all, husbands like that were hard to come by. Once again, God was faithful to me in every way. Matthew 7:9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? God is faithful to answer our prayers.

The day my husband, John, and I decided we would marry, he shared with me that he had been praying to the Lord that God would give him love for my sons, as if they were his own. The very first day Charlie and Chad, who were age 6 at the time, met John, they asked if they could call him Dad. They have never called him anything else. John shared with Charlie and Chad that they would not be his “step kids” but they would actually be his kids. John brought them into his family as if they were his own blood. He shared with them that everything he had was theirs and they would inherit everything that he had and would be shared equally between his other children. He would be the one to teach them about God, go to all of their ball games, be there when they were sick, and show them how to become men of God. What a picture of God’s love! God doesn’t have to take time to see if he likes us before He accepts us. He doesn’t say, “Well, let’s just see how things go. I am going to be your “step dad” for a while and see how you act. Then I will decide where we stand.” No! Ephesians 1:4-5 says He chose us in Him…having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself. We are no doubt Royalty according to Christ’s good pleasure and His will! Not only that, but according to Galatians 4:5-7 He totally accepted us, so much so that we have permission to call the King, “Daddy.” Gal 4:5-8 to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore, you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. Yes, we are of the Royal Family of God and we did nothing to deserve this great gift from God! We gave Him no reason to love us or to desire us. No friends, He just loved us because He is pure love!

My husband’s love for my children has made a bond between them that can never be broken. In fact, it’s such a strong bond that people even think my husband, John, is their birth father. Now my husband is Hispanic and very dark skinned and my sons, Charlie and Chad, are like Casper the ghost! It’s clear that they are not related. But it never fails when people see them together that they say, “Oh, I can totally see the resemblance. They look just like their father.” My husband and I always smile and agree! This is always a joke between us. But this, too, is a picture of God’s grace and love for us. At one time, we didn’t look like our Father either. We were covetous, blasphemous, hateful, and rebellious. This is who we were before we knew Him, but as God continues to work in our hearts, we continue to look more and more like Him. We resemble His actions, talk like Him, walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. We just start to look like we are related to Him…we start to look like we belong to the Royal Family of God. Ephesians 1:4 that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. God sees us as He sees Himself because we are a reflection of Him.

Years have passed since John made that promise of “daddy-hood” to my sons. For years, my husband has desired earnestly to adopt Charlie and Chad according to the law in the State of Arizona. Although John already knows that he is Charlie and Chad’s dad, he wanted them to have his last name and God’s stamp of approval. We have waited and prayed for many years. This past October the time had finally come.

As we prepared to go to court, we had consulted with an attorney who recommended we not attempt to terminate parental rights of my ex-husband without an attorney. He shared that this is no small task to terminate someone’s parental rights, especially in the state of Arizona. Although I appreciated this attorney’s advice, the Lord brought to remembrance His Word. 1 John 2:1 And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. According to God’s Word, I knew I didn’t need to pay an attorney $5000, because I had an Attorney who would go before me and represent me and my family (and I hear those Jewish Attorneys are the best!). So we did. We consulted with the Lord and asked Him to go before us. I prepared the paperwork and showed up at court with the Lord ahead of us and me, my husband and my two sons following.

This was the day we had waited for. My husband and I and some close friends had been praying specifically for the heart of our judge. We asked that the Lord would prepare her and that she would judge righteously according to the Lord's leading. We prayed God would move in her heart to hear our case. During the hearing, which lasted all of 20 minutes, she asked my sons if they understood what we were talking about and how they felt about John adopting them. She smiled when they answered confidently they thought the idea of being adopted would be great because my husband had been their dad for almost 7 years and they really loved him.

It was a day to celebrate. Within minutes, she decided our case. She deemed after hearing our evidence, that according to the State of Arizona, it was in Charlie and Chad’s best interest that my husband adopt! As of 10:00 that morning, my ex-husband’s parental rights had been terminated and I was awarded sole custody until the adoption went through.

Judge Wagener said we looked like a great family and then as if the Lord prompted her, she squinted her eyes and looked at my husband and then at Charlie and Chad as if comparing them. And then Judge Wagener said it...”You know what’s funny? You guys actually kind of look alike,” speaking of the similarities between my husband and my sons! This would be God’s stamp of approval and another reminder that His hand is always upon us and He is working on our behalf 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! We indeed are set apart and without blemish because of Christ and this is a beautiful picture of God’s love for us.

We praised our God who went before us in court. He truly went ahead of us and worked on our behalf. After the judge ruled in our favor, we were immediately sent to another section of court to start adoption proceedings. We are blessed beyond measure and cry out, “Abba, Father.” We are thankful for His love and provision for us and for His constant favor in our lives. We truly are of the Royal Blood line and we continue day by day to allow God to work in our lives that we would look more and more like Him each day.

Friday, August 26, 2011

He Sewed Me Back Together

2 Corinthians 4:9 ...Struck down but not destroyed.

What a delight to worship my King. Yesterday, my daughter was asleep on the couch, the whole house was quiet, and I turned on some praise music to worship my King. I folded clothes and just had a sweet time worshipping Him and giving Him all my attention. As my heart worshipped Him, he revealed His love for me and it was so perfect!

Just a couple of weeks ago, I had cut my thumb on a piece of glass. It was really deep and I required 7 stitches. After I cut it, I had numbness in the thumb. I was referred to a hand specialist, Dr. Butler, who recommended I get the nerve repaired. I had cut the finger right above the ulnar nerve and he felt it was probably severed all the way. Unfortunately, this nerve is like a rubber band so when it is cut, it retracts back into the hand and they need to go under a scope and find it and suture it back together. Last Thursday, I had the surgery and Dr. Butler said he was pleased because it had only partially severed the nerve and it wasn't cut all the way through. He was able to take the nerve and pull it back together and suture it. He said my prognosis was good, that although for the first month or so I wouldn't be able to feel the thumb, eventually the feeling would come back and he thinks I will get full function back in the thumb. I was so happy!

As I worshipped God and sang to Him, He showed me that this this thumb surgery experience was a great comparison to my life. He brought to mind how before I was saved, I was struck down, but satan didn't destroy me. There was still a little bit of me that was still "attached" and the Lord took it and brought it back together and sutured my life up. Then He brought to mind how difficult it was when I first got saved. I had lost everything....my husband, my home, my car, my job. I had lost control of my kids' behavior. I didn't even have enough money to get back to Wisconsin to live with my parents. My dad sent me plane tickets to get me home. When I finally got home, I was literally like a walking zombie. I didn't know my right hand from my left. The Lord reminded me that I didn't "have feeling" for a while, but He continued to breathe life into my heart with His very Word and the "feeling" came back. Just like my thumb, after several months, the feeling started to return. He restored me completely. He took my severed life, sewed it up, and put feeling back into my life and when He did, I could function. He breathed the very breath of life into me like He was performing CPR on an unconscious person. That person was me. He reminded me that I wasn't destroyed. I was struck down, but it was ONLY BECAUSE OF HIM that He never allowed satan to take me out. He allowed Him to go so far. Satan could only go as far as leaving that little piece of nerve left still attached. I hadn't walked too far away from God to be brought back, because I still had that little part of my heart still attached and God could still work with me. He carried me even through that time. It was ONLY because of HIM that I live today. He was the one who covered me during that time because He has a plan for me. Isn't that amazing?

Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. God knit me together when He created me and then He, like a Good Shepherd, went and found His lost little sheep who had gone astray, and He knit me together again. And then if that was not enough, he breathed His life-giving Word in me and restored me completely. I can honestly say that all of my greatest childhood experiences all the way to adulthood, I consider a great loss in comparison to knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior and walking with Him intimately over the past 11 years.

So I praise Him for going after me, finding me, knitting me back together and breathing life and "feeling" back into me. He restored my soul and I know without a doubt I have found the true meaning of life..truly living for Jesus Christ.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Fly First Class...with Jesus as my Pilot

I love taking trips! I am getting so excited to see my old friend, Abbi. My husband has a business trip for work and I get the privilege of tagging along for a little vacation. The best part is hanging out with my husband, but the second best part is meeting up with Abbi. I met Abbi on a missions trip in Mexico City in the spring of 2003. We have been friends ever since. Thanksgiving 2003 I took a trip to meet Abbi in California. As I thought about my trip to see her again, the Lord brought to mind that November 2003 trip to California. It had to have been one of the most amazing "first class" trips I have ever taken on a plane. With Jesus as our Pilot, make no mistake, we will always fly first class!

It was Thanksgiving 2003, and I was so stoked to meet Abbi in beautiful Monterey, CA. The plan was that I would fly with my 4 year old twins, Charlie and Chad, from Minneapolis, MN into Chicago, IL. I would change planes in Chicago and then fly into San Diego. In San Diego, CA I was meeting my ex-husband, Rick, and his new wife, Dawn. They were picking up Charlie and Chad for a visit while I was getting on a different airline into Monterey for my visit with Abbi.

I flew with my sons from Minneapolis to the Chicago Airport. We had a little bit of time so we stopped to get a coffee and I got the boys something to eat. Finally, it was time to board and when I started boarding the plane headed to San Diego, I just felt the need to check and see if I had my purse. I don't even know why I felt I needed to look, but when I looked, I realized I didn't have my purse. It was either stolen or it dropped out of my bag.

So now, I am traveling across the country with no cash, no credit card, no checkbook, and worst of all...no identification! I was beside myself. I got on the plane and I was totally stressed. I was almost crying. This lady who was sitting behind me on the plane asked if everything was ok and I told her. "No, I lost my purse with everything in it and I don't have any ID to board the next plan." She said she was very sorry and something told me the way she looked at me with compassion that she knew the Lord. We didn't exchange words the rest of the way to San Diego.

When I finally got situated and sat down on the plane, I just felt awful. Charlie and Chad could feel the stress and were asking me over and over if we were going to get there. I finally composed myself and stopped myself from crying several times. I took a deep breath and I thought to myself, "What do I do when things go wrong? Where do I turn?" So I reached up into my bag and pulled out my bible. I decided to dive into God's Word and ask Him what to do and wait for Him to speak to me.
The very first thing I turned to was Hebrews 11:1. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I thought to myself...Now by faith Enoch was taken from this life and didn't experience death, by faith Abraham and Sarah had Isaac even when Sarah was barren, so by faith I'm getting to Monterey. I said, "Lord, I have no idea how you are going to do it, I just know you can." For the rest of the trip I had this peace in my heart. God's Word was settled in my heart and I knew His promise was good. I even leaned my head back and took a nap and rested in the fact that the Lord would get me there by faith. I knew I had to believe God's Word before I received the promise from Him.

As I got off the plane, the woman behind me pulled me aside and said, "I have this wonderful book. I just read it and thought you might enjoy it. It was called "The Miracle of Sons." I thanked her for the book and unzipped my bag to put the book inside. As she turned to walk away, she said, "Oh and I put a note in there for you too. I sure hope your day gets better." I thanked her and went on my way.

I met up with my ex-husband Rick and his wife and I told him what had happened. He said, "There is no way you are getting on that plane. The way security is you will not get on." I thought to myself, "But in the Name of Jesus I will!"
I had a few minutes of waiting before I had to go over to the other terminal to explain my situation. I pulled out the book and the note the woman tucked inside the front cover.

It read:

I have often found angels surrounding me and my family at different times in our lives. Sometimes it has been from a person bearing a meal when I was unable to fix one. At one time my husband was deathly ill and angels certainly watched over us then and yes we survived it all, but only with God's healing hand and the angels He sent. You know these angels are always around; they have skin and are the people in our lives. Now there are times when we too can be an angel in someone else's life. Please accept this in the spirit it was given, unconditionally. I'm sure there are times that you have been and will be able to be an "angel" for someone else, that keeps us all in the circle of God's love. A blessed Thanksgiving to you!

I opened the note and took out the green stack that was inside and I fanned the ten, crisp $20 bills in my hand. She had tucked $200 in cash inside the book. At that moment, I knew without a doubt that God had given me a promise and He was keeping it. I took the cash and walked to the ticket counter and explained my situation about my ID. They told me to they would search my bags by hand and they got me right on the plane. In fact, I was the first one allowed on the plane. Rick and his wife, who are unbelievers, were totally shocked and said about me receiving the cash and getting on the plane first "this is unheard of!" But I said, "With man it's impossible, but with God, all things are possible!

I arrived in Monterey and had a beautiful time with my friend, Abbi. When I shared what the Lord had done, it really moved in the hearts of Abbi and her parents. The promises of God are real and we can believe them! My trip there and back was the best trip by plane I had ever taken. I boarded each plane with the first class passengers to California and all the way back to Minnesota!

This love experience was so remarkable. I still have the note that she wrote to me. Now granted this woman may have been off on some of her angel theology, but she was right on with the love she showed to me and to my children. This unconditional love made such an impact in my life that there are days I am just compelled to bless others because of it. God's love for me is like no other. The depths of His love can't be measured. But with Him in my life, I get first class treatment every day and with Jesus as my pilot, I always fly first class!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Look at the Birds of the Air and the Lilies of the Field

Matthew 6:25-34 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet yor heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value then they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.


Why do I worry? Why do I feel like I need to help God out? I have seen Him do mighty things, but yet I still find myself back at the same place...not trusting Him and looking for ways that I might be able to help Him out.

It was just recently that the Lord spoke to my heart in my private time with Him. He showed me that all He wants me to do is spend time knowing Him and to serve my family. Nothing more. He spoke to my heart and said, "Instead of working for someone else, why don't you work for Me?" Wow, the God of the universe wants me to work for Him. He also gave me a promise with the call to work for Him that He would be a good boss...and He does payroll!

This old feeling of wanting to work for my finances takes me back to the first year of salvation. I had been a very materialistic person in my past life. It was all about what I could buy and what I had. That really defined who I was before Christ. Well, old habits die hard. It was something the Lord really had to work on with me. It was no longer about me, but His Kingdom. One day, I read the Word and I found a treasure in Malachi. This Word would change my life and my financial goals.

I was a single mother of two getting ready to start college. It was a big stressor for me. I had moved from Arizona to Wisconsin to be with my family. I lived with my parents for a year and it was time for me to get out on my own. I was a little worried about my financial situation. I was about to get a car payment, rent, utilities, phone, car insurance and all of the other necessary things I needed to make it on my own. I was going from a full time job of $8.50 per hour down to one day a week. This was going to be a stretch for me. I started getting kind of scared not knowing what to expect. After all, I had just gone through a divorce that devestated me financially and I just didn't want to go through that again...or my kids for that matter.

One evening, I was reading the Word. I don't know how I came across the passage, but there it was. I wasn't even thinking about it, but I knew when I read it the Lord wanted me to trust Him with something I had long held on to...my money. Malachi 3:10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. This was a stunning promise and one that would really challenge me. For one, I thought it was interesting that God said to "Try Him in this." It's the only place in the bible I knew of that the Lord said to test Him. Up until this point, the money I made was being saved and I considered it to be mine. I remember sitting there at my table with a calculator figuring it out in my head and on a scratch pad how far behind I would be if I gave 10% of my money away. My money? I realized later, God didn't need my money. It was His anyway. But He did expect obedience and faith in this area and I, at that moment, gave it over to Him. I would later find out that human calculations were not at all like God's calculations.

I, in my spiritual immaturity, had not seen the Hand of God in my finances nor had I had any intention of handing it over to Him. I would do everything in my power to not go through the financial devestation I had just gone through. So my finances were something I planned on controlling. But on this particular evening, the Lord spoke to my heart in such a powerful way. He poured His deep love into my heart and He let me know I could trust Him with my finances. I sat at my table at my new apartment and offered up my finances to the Lord. From that day forward, I would tithe on all of my finances by faith.

Over the next three and a half years, the Lord would teach me many, many things through this journey. He cared for me in such a fatherly way and showed Himself strong over and over. He cared for me deeply even in what I considered the small things. At one point, I was saving money to get a couch for my living room. It was tattered and in horrible condition. I received a letter in the mail from my church asking everyone to prayerfully consider giving to the building fund at our church. I looked over at the stuffing coming out of my couch. I felt the Lord again urging me to trust Him. I said in my heart, "Ok, I will commit the money I had saved for my couch. I will trust you for my couch." I even took it a step further and said, "By the way Lord, you know that I hate looking for his kind of stuff so could you just bring it to me? I really don't even want to go and look for a new couch." Three weeks later my phone rang and it was my parents' neighbor. She just wanted to give me a call to see if I had a need for a couch. I was so surprised that I asked if she had talked to my parents. They had not told her anything. By the Spirit of God, He placed me on her heart and she called. So instead of $1000 for a new couch, I spent $150 and I got a new couch and loveseat AND matching curtains for both of my windows!

During this period of time, I went from working full time down to working one day a week. In one year, I paid off my $8500 car. By the time I graduated from nursing school three and a half years later, I had no debt, a nursing degree, and $20,000 in the bank. To this day, I can't explain how the Lord did it nor do I understand it. If I tried to take a calculator and figure it out, it just wouldn't make sense. But God's Word makes perfect sense. Doesn't He sound like a trustworthy employer? It was nothing that I did on my own. I just walked with Him and He did it all. He takes care of the birds of the air and the lilies of the field and He took care of me...with abundance He took care of me and my children.

Having no debt after nursing school and a nice savings was just such a small part of it. The closeness I felt with the Lord and the spiritual richness I received from Him, was far more valuable than the money. Learning to trust Him in an area that I wanted to control was a great benefit to me financially and spiritually. Believing His Word and seeing it unfold while I put my trust in the Lord was a remarkable experience for me. I grew deeper in my love for Christ and drew close to His heart.

So I ask myself again and again, why do I want to work to control my finances? After all, the Lord has asked me to work for Him and He seems to me to be the best employer one could have. As I relive this experience, it should be so simple, right?. Give it to God and just let Him provide. But yet over and over I find myself back to wanting to "do something." I want control. But the Lord is merciful and over and over He gently draw me back to that place of trust. I am kicking and fighting Him, but He keeps drawing me.

So why do I still fear trusting Him? Is working for the Lord not enough? Shouldn't that be just enough? If I could only remember the richness of Him and how much He wants to take me under His wing and provide for me richly. I need to remind myself that I am complete in Him and desire to trust Him with all my heart like I did then. He's no different. He's still the same. He still has all of the resources. He still wants to provide everything for me and He does. All I have to do is be available for Him and work for Him.

I long to, with all my heart, go back to having that kind of faith...to completely and totally trust Him like I did in those years. I want to benefit from Him like I did then. Not financially, but in the love of Christ. His love and provision has no boundaries. You can't measure the depth of His love or how wide His resources are. But by faith, we know He is able and His Word is true.

Many years ago, I trusted in God's Word. So today, I recommit myself to trusting in His Word for my life...the call He has on my life. I am trusting the call of God to just work for Him. I am trusting Him with all that I have...I don't have much to offer Him, but what I have, He wants. I give it to Him freely and know that I am answering the call of God. I can't guarantee I will be the best employee...but I can guarantee He is the best, most worthy employer.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Lead a Horse to Water…and He Will Drink

I’ve heard the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” It may be true you can’t make him, but he will drink…if he is thirsty. Matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.” We as believers are the salt. It’s our testimony, our lives, our love, our witness for Christ. No, we can’t make him drink, but if we give him salt, he will thirst. He will drink…not from the putrid water that the world gives, but the REAL, Living Water of Jesus Christ. This water will cause him to never thirst again.

I have spent some time thinking about this saying today. I have been asking myself, am I the salt the earth? Do they even know I’m a Christian? Am I living deeply for Him…the kind of living that would make the world thirsty? I paged through some testimonies that I had written down several years ago about this very thing. I realized as I read through these testimonies, with tears in my eyes, I have lost my flavor. I have lost that flavor for Him and my bones ache to go back to the place of being full of “salt” for Jesus. Full of “salt” that makes people thirsty for Him, full of the “Living Water” that would bring life changing salvation to the world that would cause them to never thirst again. I long to go back to this place and I pray that you would join me in my journey back to being “salty.”

October 3, 2005

As I reset the IV pump, it was then that she noticed it. It was the rainbow reflection that shone from it…my beautiful diamond ring my husband picked out for me. She was a 20 year old woman named “Amy” that I was taking care of for stomach problems. I smiled as I lifted up my hand to show her my “rock.” Within minutes, I was sharing with her how the Lord had used eHarmony and how I met my wonderful husband. She glowed with excitement when I shared with her what the Lord had done. I prayed in my heart as I left her room that I would have an opportunity to share more with her later about what Jesus had done in my life.

As I walked out the door of her room to notate the chart, a middle aged nurse walked up beside me. She smiled and introduced herself, saying, “My name is “Catherine,” and I overheard your story…how you met your husband on eHarmony.” She said, “I’d like to meet someone also but just for friendship.” As I listened to her, more of her life unfolded before me. She began sharing how her husband of several years had had several affairs and he had recently told her that he didn’t love her anymore and wanted a divorce. My heart sank in my chest as she shared her deepest feelings with me. They currently were living together, but not like husband and wife, but more like roommates.

I walked with Catherine down the hall and stood outside my next patient’s room. I finally said, “I don’t want to tell you what to do and I really don’t even know what your situation is, but the best thing you can do for your husband is to pray for him.” Catherine’s eyes looked up from the floor. She shared that for the first time in a very long time, she had gone to church. While sitting in church she started to pray for her husband. It wasn’t a prayer that she was used to praying for in fact, this one was from her heart. The very next day, her husband called her and asked her to go for a drive. During the drive, for the first time in months they did not have one argument. It was then as I listened to Catherine, out of my heart, came that “Living Water.” I was just so compelled to tell her what Jesus had done in my life. I couldn’t contain it. I just had to tell her. She smiled after I shared my testimony with her and said that it had been the best news she had heard in such a long time.

I looked at my watch and apologized. I just had to get my medications delivered to my next patient, but promised that we would talk again. She glowed as she walked away. This “salt” made her thirsty for the Living Water.

“Please forgive me, ‘Jan.’ I am so sorry that I am late getting your medications to you,” I said as I frantically pulled apart the pill packages to get the multiple pills into her med cup. I didn’t even look up at her until I heard her soft, frail voice. “I overheard what you said to the woman outside my door…about the hope that you have. I really needed to hear that today.” She was holding back her tears as the hopelessness in her life was evident. Jan was a retired nurse in her 50s with extensive problems with depression. She was on multiple psychiatric medications for her mental illness. As I handed her the cup full of pills, I sat down quietly next to her on her bed. I put my arm around her and gave her a little hug. I was about to deliver some very good news for Jan. “This hope I have, Jan, is available for you too. You see, without Christ, there is no hope.” Once again, I could not contain myself as the “Living Water” of Jesus Christ flowed. I shared with Jan what Jesus Christ had done in my life and how He had saved me from certain death. In the next few minutes, she was sitting on her hospital bed praying to accept Jesus Christ into her heart.

Just days earlier, Jan shared that she had had a dream where she was falling. She was falling and falling and falling into this black tunnel. She remembered thinking to herself, “This must be what it is like to die.” When she awoke she felt so plagued with the uncertainty about where she would go if she were to die. In this special moment, Jan’s hopelessness turned to hope. Jesus had given her peace.

As I listened to her share her life with me, I heard the crash of metal curtain rings hit together. From across the room, her roommate’s cream-colored curtain flew open with a mighty wind. Out of her mouth she said, “I just wanted you to know that I have been listening to everything that you have been telling my roommate and I believe every word you are saying! I want you to know that everything you told her has really helped me to be closer to God.” The “salt” was making them thirsty. They thirsted and they drank.

My heart was warmed as I stepped away from the room and on to my next patient. I arrived back into Amy’s room, the 20 year old woman who saw my ring...the room where this whole divine day had started. Within minutes, I was sharing the gospel with Amy. And then her mom arrived for a visit, and I shared Jesus with her too. And then her boyfriend arrived, and I shared Jesus with him. In a full circle, the Lord accomplished much and the “salt” made them thirsty. You see, I didn’t have to force them to drink…they just got thirsty and when they got thirsty, they drank. The “Salt” was so flavorful that they couldn’t help but drink.

I long for my Lord to bring back my flavor. I long to be “salty” again. I long to be the Salt of the earth and the Light of the world. I long to go back to that place and I pray that you make this journey with me.

**The names are changed for privacy

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Heaven



As I spent the last hour scanning the internet for photos of flowers in Heaven, I came to realize there were no photos available to give you a glimpse of an idea what my son, Charlie, saw the night he went to Heaven. Honestly, there were no human words that could have fully wrapped themselves around this beautiful experience. Even Charlie himself, with his 8 year old mind, fought to give us details that even he could not express or comprehend. Our hearts burned with a longing to have been where he had been and to have experienced this face to face encounter with the One True God, Jesus Christ.

Charlie crept into my room at 4:00 am on October 21, 2007. I had checked on him several times through the night as he was recovering from the flu. I thought he may have been sick again. His little body looked frail as I saw him come into my room.

“Mom, I know you’re tired, but may I tell you about my dream?” he said. I rested on my pillow with my eyes closed wanting to drift off to sleep. But when the words came out of his mouth, immediately I was struck to the heart. I opened my eyes and looked down at my son lying on the floor next to my bed. Exodus 34:34-35 But whenever Moses went before the Lord to speak with Him, he would take the veil off until he came out; and he would come out and speak to the children of Israel whatever he had been commanded. And whenever the children of Israel saw the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face shone, then Moses would put the` veil on his face again, until he went in to speak with Him. When I looked at Charlie, I could see something shining. He looked like a completely different child when I looked at his face. I saw this humble little boy with a bright and shining aura around him. I kept these things in my heart as I listened to him. I was so astounded by his detailed account that I took him directly to the computer and typed it word for word that we would never forget the details of this wondrous encounter with Jesus. This is his personal account of what he saw when he went to Heaven:



“I went to Heaven, mom. In a blink of an eye, I was there. Mom, you wouldn’t believe what I saw. I saw these beautiful flowers…red, blue, green, pink, and yellow. The flowers were so soft and full. There wasn’t any sign of the death in the flower. They were so beautiful. They were “fat” and soft and blooming. There were huge rose buds, big and blossoming. I saw poppies and roses and big blue bushes of flowers. I had never seen anything like them, mom. I can’t even describe to you the colors I saw because I had never seen the colors before.

I walked on the ground and when I walked it was bright and shiny like a light bulb. It was so shiny and clear. Revelation 21:21 And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass. The sky was so bright. It was like a sun. It was like the sun all over. The sky wasn’t blue like it normally is. It was so, so bright. Revelation 22:4-5 They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.

I was there, mom. I was there with other people. I couldn’t see their faces. They were like angels. They had snow white robes on and their faces were bright. All of them had light brown ropes that came down from their shoulders down to their waists.

Jesus was there too. These brightly dressed people were on either side of Him. He was wearing a robe that was whiter than white. Mom, I had never seen anything so white. There was not one little stain or wrinkle or streak on this robe. It was whiter than snow or anything I have ever seen, ever. His face was like the sun. Matthew 17:2 His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as the light. His hair was from his head to his shoulders and it was curly and golden. I can’t explain the gold color of his hair because I had never seen the color before. It was a color all its own. I couldn’t see his face because it was so bright, but I knew it was Him.

We stood at the end of Heaven. Nobody told me I was in Heaven. I just knew I was there. I saw a huge, clear, white hole. Inside the hole, it was something like a magnifying glass. It was moving in a circle. We looked through the hole and we saw all the people on the earth. We took pictures of all of the people on earth that we could see through the hole. The people were just walking around just living like normal. I saw people in a bank walking around and getting their money. They didn’t know we were watching them. I understood everything Jesus was saying, even though there were no words. Psalm 139:1-4 Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thoughts afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. Nobody spoke a word, not even me. I knew in my heart that Jesus knew who was going to heaven and who was not going.

Jesus came up to me and with his bright, shining face and gave me his camera. We started taking pictures of all of the people. Jesus knew who was good and who was not good. Jesus wanted to take a picture of me. The next thing I knew, I slipped through the magnifying glass-type hole. I felt my body being forced out of the hole and pushed out of the wall into my room and back into my bed. I saw the camera flash and my eyes opened. I fully woke up and felt a force push me so hard that it almost pushed me off of my bed. I was out of breath and my breathing was heavy.

I sat in awe as he motioned with his hands and tried with all of his might to help me understand this experience he had with the Most High God. I couldn’t get over the glow on his face. It was so evident that he was really with Jesus. I had a great fear of the Lord.

In amazement by Charlie’s experience, the Lord brought to mind a friend’s Jewish grandfather who was 90+ years old. He was on his death bed. My friend had been fervently praying for him for years. I knew Charlie had been in the presence of the Lord. I knew by the evidence of his glowing appearance. He had indeed seen Jesus. I told Charlie that we were going to pray for my friend’s grandfather right there and I believed that the Lord would save him.

Days later we learned that my friend’s grandfather passed away, but not before he gave his life to Jesus on his death bed. Now he would experience so much more than the glimpse of Heaven Charlie had experienced. He would be in the presence of the Lord in all of its fullness. Words cannot describe all that the Lord has planned for those who love Him!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Race

1Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.



My legs ached as I rounded the corner at the 13th mile marker. The battle in my head had begun at mile 5 and by mile 13 there was a full-on war going on in my head. Should I stop and walk? Should I keep going? I never really wanted to do this anyway, so I should stop! As the sweat drops dripped from my hair, I wiped my dry lips. My shoulders were sunburned and my head pounded from dehydration. My whole body longed to stop and rest, but I continued to lift one knee up, as the other foot continued to make contact with the concrete. Over and over it went. I could hear a voice in my head saying “I will never do this again.” This voice didn’t sound quite the same as the voice who told me I could run a half marathon just four months before. I could hear my labored breathing and my shoulders and chest quivered from the energy being poured out of my body. Then I saw it…the finish line. It seemed like a million miles away and I swore they had made a mistake…that last 0.1 miles dragged on for what seemed to be hours. Dragging my body across the finish line, after 2:02:47, I had finally made it. My first half marathon was complete.

I had met my goal…to finish a half marathon. That was it, I just wanted to finish. I had no time goal. Unlike the Apostle Paul, I was running with uncertainty and I was beating the air. I had no real plan. In fact, the truth was, I had limited knowledge of running altogether. I was undisciplined, untrained, and lacked nutrition. You see, I thought I could run the race well without the discipline. That pesky “discipline” part that I didn’t like to talk about. I knew hard training and giving up my cookies would take discipline and hard work. It meant I had to deny my flesh in order to improve as a runner. At the time, I just didn’t have the foresight to see past the cookie in my hand and my nice warm bed at 4:15 in the morning. Isn’t this the way we are in life sometimes? We can’t see past what we are doing today and because of this, we exchange the truth for a lie. A little bit of God is enough. We think if we just get into heaven, that’s good enough. Maybe our foot will be through the door of heaven with the door slamming shut on the other half of our body, but at least we got to Heaven, right? Is this how we want to finish the race being nearsighted with the here and now? But Jesus says, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 2Corinthians 2:9. Is there anything from the Lord that we would want to miss? Is being lazy spiritually and lacking the ability to keep our eyes on the eternal prize at the end really worth missing anything that He has for us? Because He has much for those He loves and He says it hasn’t even entered into our heart or into our imagination what He has for us. If I can’t even imagine what it is He has for me, trust me, I don’t want to miss it.

1Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

About a year after this long, 2:02:47 run, I made a decision. I would do things differently. I made a decision to discipline my body and bring it into subjection physically that I would reap the benefits and improve as a runner. This bodily exercise and discipline only profited me a little, but what the Lord taught in this running journey has brought so much to my life spiritually. I have learned to work hard in training, to say no to cookies when I never did before, and to get out of bed to run when it is cold. This is all because, by faith, I have not taken my eyes off the prize. I have been able to stop living for today and to see who I desire to be in the future, both as a runner and spiritually. I have been able to deny myself in the moment of desire to eat that cookie, because I can see the benefit to denying myself in the future, as a runner and as a woman of God. I have learned to fight against the battle in my mind to stop before the finish line when I grow weary and to trust the Lord to carry me when I am weak.

2Timothy 4:6-8 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, and I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

It has been months of disciplined running, improved nutrition, and looking to the finish line for the prize. I have fought the good fight. I trained hard and disciplined this old body of mine. On January 16, 2011, it was my opportunity to see the fruit of my labor. Over and over in my head, I heard my running coach. “Be smart when you run. You need to watch your splits closely. Don’t go out too fast. You need to keep your pace. If you feel good at 10 miles, you can start picking it up. But I don’t want you to go too fast.” The night before the race I thought to myself, “This is it.” This is the end of the road for me. I was going to see the results of the hard work and nutrition choices I had made for the past four months of training.

That evening I rested on my bed praying and thinking about my race. My husband leaned his head in the room and told me I should get to bed and get some rest. I knew I needed to, but I just wanted to spend 15 minutes in God’s Word to see what He had to say to me. About five minutes into reading the Word, God spoke to me so powerfully. Matthew 15: 21-28 Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” But He answered and said, “it is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O WOMAN, GREAT IS YOUR FAITH! LET IT BE TO YOU AS YOU DESIRE.” You see I had done all of the necessary discipline of my body, improved nutrition, proper training, and now it was just a matter of faith. I saw that the woman had faith and Jesus told her “Let it be to you as you desire.” I received this Word from the Lord and in my heart I saw what I desired and it was to finish the race meeting my goal of 1:43.

I have a GPS watch that I use and it is important equipment for a racer, as this is what tells me what pace I am going. That night, as I slept, I dreamt that it didn’t turn on. I awoke in the morning and kind of laughed to myself. “I must be really stressed out about this race,” I thought. I went to my Garmin and tried to turn it on, but it wouldn’t. I pushed every button on that thing, and it was completely dead. Immediately, panic struck me. I heard the words of my coach to keep my eye on how fast I was going. I tried every avenue to get the thing turned on to no avail. Panic turned to peace, when again the Lord spoke to my heart. “Do not put your trust in your Garmin, you can trust Me.” I immediately received this from the Lord and knew that He would bring me across the finish line, no matter how He wanted to do it. I knew this race about my faith and it was just between the Lord and me.

The sun had just come up and I stood in my corral getting reading for the gun to go off. I had no idea what to expect during this race, but I knew that the Lord was with me and God had renewed my mind. Because this time I could see the finish line and nothing would deter me from crossing it, with or without my Garmin. As the shot rang out, one leg in front of the other, I was completely trusting in the Lord. About a half mile into the race, there was a woman next to me running about my pace. The Lord brought her to me and she paced me the entire race. We didn’t say more than two words the entire time. We almost breathed together in sync for 13 miles and I didn’t even know her name. The Lord was faithful to me in every way.

This race proved to be a different experience for me altogether. I believed God and His Word and I put all of my trust in Him and not my Garmin or anything else. In fact, the next day, I went to turn on the Garmin and it fired up like nothing was ever wrong with it! I had already trained hard. I had disciplined my body and now I just needed to trust the Lord. This time I would finish well. Yes, there was still a battle in my mind. Yes, my breathing was still labored. Yes, my legs ached. Yes, I longed to stop. But this time I had my eyes fixed on the prize. This time, I could forget the here and now and look past the miles and see mile 13.1…and the finish line that was just beyond it. This time I had run with purpose. I had finished the race. I had brought my body in line with my vision. The fruit of my labor and trust in my Lord was evidenced by crossing the finish line strong at 1:42:45.

One day, I will forget all about this race. I will forget all about how I shed sweat and pounds to cross the finish line well. In fact, when I receive my eternal crown, I will not even think about it all. One thing I have learned from my running experience is the ability to look ahead. I am able to see how I want to finish the race of life. I want to fight the good fight of faith and receive the crown that the Lord has laid up for me. I don’t want to miss a thing. I don’t want to miss a person who needs to know about Jesus. I don’t want to miss one act of kindness that would show the love of Jesus. I don’t want to miss God’s voice any time in my life. I don’t want to miss one treasure in His Word. I just want to run well. I just want to see the finish line where the prize is. Not the prize that perishes, but the eternal prize of Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.

Friday, January 14, 2011

In the Midst of the Tragedy in Tucson…Good News!

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Since hearing the tragic news this past Saturday of the horrific shooting at the shopping center here in Tucson, I have practically been glued to the TV and other online news outlets. My mind has gone through scenario after scenario of what I would have done if I would have come upon a scene like that knowing that I frequent the stores in my Tucson area, usually with my two young daughters in tow. In fact, this store is just a few miles from my house. A sick feeling lingered at the pit of my stomach just imagining the emergent situation that erupted and how handicapped I would have felt.

Day after day, the news media revisits these gruesome events that took place at Safeway just six days ago. At first it’s surreal with no names associated with it…but then the photos appear on the TV. Six of them dead and many others wounded. Every news channel you turn to, you see the face of a little 9 year old girl, an elderly woman, Gabrielle Giffords, a young man, and others. But here is what the news doesn’t show…the photos of the thousands of people that are affected by this tragedy. Thousands of tears shed behind closed doors and at their loved ones’ funerals. They can’t photograph the pain and loss they feel. It’s impossible to photograph the future birthdays they will miss and the family vacations that won’t be taken. It’s such a great loss. These events are shown over and over, but in the next couple of months, we will seldom hear anything about this tragedy because the mews outlets will determine there is something more newsworthy to take up the airways. But those who lost someone they love will bear permanent scars, pain, and sadness in the hearts for years to come.

“Who could have done such a thing?” I thought as I looked at the blood spattered Safeway entrance. I guess I had my own expectations. Maybe he was a big burley, tattooed, scary guy. But instead, they showed a photo of a boy. He was just a young boy, not much older than David when the Lord anointed him King. But what I difference in the hearts of these two young men. Day after day, more and more of Jared Loughner’s life has been plastered all over the TV. I heard him being described as a devil worshipper, weirdo, crazy, trouble-maker, and many other things. I thought about his parents and how they must feel. Their son, who they raised and loved, has done something so terrible. My heart just hurt for them. I just want to show up at their house and tell them how much I care about them and love them.

It has been such a sad time for the city of Tucson…so many families affected. I know how special my family is to me and I couldn’t even imagine how they feel. It’s been bad news for them and for us and for our country. But an amazing thing has happened in my heart over these past six days. I have been amazed at the peace I have in my heart. What’s the reason for my peace? You see, even in this tribulation, I have good news…I have the best news. John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. Jesus is waiting for you, for us. He wants to be the Lord and Savior of your life and mine. He is still able and willing to forgive your sins and mine. Here is the reality…everyone…without Jesus, is lost, just like Jared. But here is the best news…no sin is too big for Jesus. Jesus is able to forgive ALL sin. Jesus is waiting for Jared and for you and for me to come to Him…He is waiting with opens arms. He is ready to take our sin is far as the east is from the west to not remember our sin (Psalm 103:12). Jesus is able to touch lives and transform us, even the life of Jared. The bible is full of lives changed by the power of Jesus Christ. The apostle Paul was killing Christians and the Lord touched His life and transformed him and the very thing he lived to destroy, he lived the rest of his life to build up. He gave his life for Jesus and so can you and so can Jared. Friends, this is the reality of being touched by Jesus Christ. This is such good news! The blood of Jesus is so powerful, even Jared Loughner can be forgiven. If God can forgive this horrific tragedy, he can forgive us of anything we have ever done or going to do.

Here is a challenge to all of the Christians in the world…lift Jared Loughner up in prayer. We have the privilege of praying to the God of the Universe and He says we can come to Him with confidence knowing that when we ask, He hears (Hebrews 4:16). And if He hears, He answers! We may think Jared is an impossible case and unable to be reached, but Jesus is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or think…so I encourage you to all to ask (Ephesians 3:20). Ask that the Lord would move mightily in his life and in his heart. Ask that Jared would receive the forgiveness that we all need. Be a part of the work of Jesus Christ and instead of a massacre, the Lord can create a masterpiece!

I am happy to say in the midst of this tragedy, there is still Good News…it is Jesus Christ. We don’t need more gun control, more security, more laws, more politics…the world only needs Jesus. It’s all we need and He’s totally sufficient to meet all of our needs. I encouraged you all if you have not done personal business with Jesus, now is the time. He is waiting for you and He is able to transform your life. Take this first step in your transformation by receiving Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Your salvation is very important to God-so much so that he gave His only Son to die for your sins:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.


God is not willing that any should perish, and that includes you! (2Peter 3:9). So pray this prayer:

Heavenly Father,
I thank You for sending Jesus into the world. I realize that I need a Savior.
Jesus, come into my life. I submit all my life to You, and I thank you for giving me eternal life. Amen.


If you have just made Jesus your Lord and Savior, I invite you to send me an email . I would love to encourage you in your new walk with Jesus and pray for you.