Being Last

Mark 10:44  Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. 

 

It’s not natural to think of others first and to serve them.  In fact, I think of myself and my needs a lot more often than I think of others.  The world shows us we need to win in life.  We need to think of ourselves first.  The world says it’s best to win the race.  But the bible teaches winning the race means we come in last place.  Matthew 20:16  So the last will be first, and the first will be last. 

My nursing job is a huge blessing.  I know it’s a gift from God.  But I usually forget this fact some time during my week.  My focus turns away from the Lord and His service and on to myself.  Instead of my feet being shod with the Gospel of peace, I start to stomp my feet and make silly demands.  I ponder on my job’s shortcomings and their unfairness.  After all, why do I have to always be the one that gets floated off of the floor to other units?  Shouldn’t someone else have to do it?   And on and on it goes. 

Over the last several weeks, the Lord has taught me some very valuable lessons.  The first is, if I want to be servant of God, I must be willing to be last.  Mark 9:35  If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last.  If I want to be effective for the Lord, I must be willing to be last…the very last.  Secondly, my service to the Lord has NOTHING to do with me, but ALL do with Him.  To be successful in serving the Lord, it requires God’s grace.  It requires dying to myself.  It requires seeing life with an eternal perspective.  Matthew 6:19  Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  

 

Sadly, the last week, I stomped my feet.  I got floated off of my usual floor to the 8^th floor.  I have had some difficult days on this floor over the past several months.  Days where I left crying.  So when the charge nurse notified me I was being floated, I made my voice known.  I just didn’t want to have another day like I had last time.  I even threatened that I would go home.  But the Lord worked with me and reminded me that it’s NOT about me, and ALL about Him.  He directs my path.  I am blessed that I decided to follow Him.   

When I transferred to the 8^th floor, my first patient was a man named Joe who had a terminal disease.  He knew he was dying and he knew it wouldn’t be long.  He had made some choices in his life that cost him his health.  He started sobbing and telling me, “I just want to die.  If I am going to die, I just want to get it over with.”  He had nothing to live for.  He had nothing to look forward to. 

When he was crying, I told him the only thing I wanted him to think about today was how much Jesus thought of him and how much he loved him.  He sobbed even more.  That morning, I asked the Lord how I could serve Joe.  The Lord spoke to my heart, “Just serve him with love.”  So I did.  I brought him water.  I brought him food from the refrigerator.  I kept him informed.  I encouraged him.  I loved him.  I served him.  Never underestimate being last and serving others with the love of Jesus.  It just changes people.  By the end of the day, Joe was a new man.  The Lord had completely touched him.  He thanked me with a smile at the end of my shift for taking good care of him.  The love of God changes people.   

So with this experience, you would think the stomping of my feet would stop, right?  Well, it didn’t.  This week, staffing called me again and wanted to float me to the 8^th floor.  I protested and told them I didn’t want to go.  There was silence on the other end of the line, an awkward silence.  But the Lord caused me to remember.  Serving isn’t about me.  It’s all about Him.  It’s about being last.  So I died to myself and followed Him.      

There was this beautiful young woman lying in her bed deathly ill.  Grace had quit her job over the past couple of years because she had some many emotional and psychological problems that she couldn’t work.  She had three kids.  She was alone and unloved.  All day, I served her with the love of Jesus.  I brought her a warm towel for her forehead.  I brought her a basin when she got sick to her stomach.  I rubbed her back when she was nauseous.  I brought her medicine.  I shared with her how Jesus had changed my life and how much he loved her and wanted to change hers. 

Then she told me…the real reason for her pain and suffering.  Grace had attempted suicide when she was 15 years old right after she had had an abortion.  She had gotten pregnant and she was forced to have an abortion and kill her baby.  I just wanted to cry for her.  I could see the weight of guilt she carried around for almost 20 years.  It was a day I was very thankful to be last and serve Jesus with all my heart.  I got the privilege of telling Grace that any time she wanted to come to Jesus, He would forgive and restore her.  He would take that weight of sin off of her and remove her guilt as if it had never happened.  He could heal her body and heal her mind.  I just wanted her to know that Jesus still loved her.  Tears welled up in her eyes when I told her she could be free.  Jesus was her answer.   

Friends, it’s a beautiful thing to be last.  It’s a beautiful thing to serve Jesus with a His compassion.  It’s a joy to die to myself and serve Him.  I wonder why I don’t do it more often.  I wonder why I come back time and time again wanting to serve myself when Jesus has proved to me what it’s like to be last and a servant of all.  Friends, let’s come over that finish line last.  The world won’t understand it.  But if we are willing to be last, it’s then and only then, we will be first.   

Below is a song by Lincoln Brewster that has ministered to me in this time of growth with the Lord.  It’s called “The Power of His Name”  Below are some of the words to this song. 

Jesus Your name

Is a shelter for the hurting
and Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need

And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name

***All names have been changed to protect identity.   

A Closer Look at the Vine

 

Ezekial 17:8  It was planted in good soil by many waters, To bring forth branches, bear fruit, [And] become a majestic vine."

I have to say, I come from a family of “green thumbs.”   You know those people who can plant absolutely anything and it grows beautifully?  Well, that’s my family.  They grow flourishing vegetable gardens, grape vineyards, apple orchards, and colorful, flowing flower gardens that would put the photos in gardening magazines to shame.  And then, well…there’s me.  I have what you would call a “brown thumb.”  Anything I plant usually wilts and dies within days.  I have even managed to kill a cactus, which the experts say is nearly impossible. 

My “green thumb” dad was out to visit me recently.  While looking at my pathetic vine that was mostly brown and leafless, he said something very encouraging, “I think we can save this one.  Just a little Miracle Grow and some water and I think it will come back.”  Now I was amused because I haven’t been able to keep anything alive my entire life.  But I took his advice and gave it a good shot of Miracle grow and lots of water. 

 

This week, I glanced at my vine and to my surprise, I saw a new vine growth coming up the side of my pillar.  I got up closer to the vine and something caught my eye.  I saw these three pronged “hands” that were strategically placed every few inches up the vine.  When I grabbed on to the vine to pull it, these tough little “hands” were holding it firmly on my pillar.  “Ha,” I thought, “Lord, you really are amazing to have designed this vine so perfectly.”  As I stared at this miracle branch that I thought would never have grown under my tender care, the Lord caused me to hear His voice.  It was just His still, small voice in my heart.  He said, “Your life isn’t your own, Stacy.  You aren’t in control of it.   If you took a closer look, you would see my Hand in your life at all times.  I uphold you and guide you with My Hand as you allow Me.”  Isaiah 41:10  Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 

This special moment with the Lord in my little “garden” really changed my outlook for the week.  I started watching for His righteous Hand in my life as the week went by.   

I had worked Friday and Saturday this weekend.  On Sunday morning, I called to the hospital to see if they needed me.  I was happy when they said they didn’t.  But I knew I had a mission to get my hours in to renew my license in April.  So I called the other hospital to see if I could work there.   I said to the Lord, “I’d love to stay home and if it’s your will, let it be.  But if not, use me today and open doors for me.  Prepare the hearts of those you want me to share with.”  And of course, the other hospital was thrilled that I wanted to work and off to work I went.   

One of my patients was a woman who came in for a suicide attempt.  I started praying for her as I got report on her.  When I got into her room, I could see she was down and sad.  She had no eye contact with me and she was miserable.  Then I asked her, “What’s troubling you, Sarah?”  She immediately turned and looked at me and her heart spilled out like lava from an erupting volcano.  Sarah shared with me that her brother had just gone to prison for life, her boyfriend was cheating on her, her family was all messed up and she was really struggling because no one loved her and she was all alone.  And worse yet, she thought God must be mad at her because she tried to kill herself.  “On the contrary,” I said.  He is compassionate towards you and loves you more than you can imagine.  Not only that, He is calling you by name and wants to be your Lord and your Savior.  If you give your life to Him, everything will change for you.”  She cried in her misery unsure if she should surrender all to Him.  My heart melted like wax for her knowing how hard it is to break away from dysfunction.  I had known the kind of pain and loneliness she was feeling.   But those days had long past as the Lord has restored my heart completely.    

At the end of my shift, Sarah said to me, “I have been thinking about what you said.  I see your happiness and joy and I want to be happy too.  I decided tonight I am going to pray and invite Jesus into my life.”  God had touched her heart and I knew His great love had changed her.

I shared the gospel with this beautiful woman that God so dearly loved.  I prayed with her as she accepted forgiveness and her new life in Jesus Christ. 

As the tears streamed down her cheeks, I thought how wonderful the Hands of my Savior really are.  These beautiful Hands took the nails for me and for Sarah.  And when I took a closer look, I saw His Mighty Hand guiding me and holding me up, and giving me the strength and courage tell people Jesus is their answer.  There really is something special about these Hands.   

My prayer for you is that you take a closer look at your life.  May you see clearly those Hands guiding you and holding you up.  I pray we all come to know that we have been purchased at a price and our lives are not our own.  Nothing happens by chance.  He truly is in control and upholds us and guides us at all times with His mighty Right Hand.  And these Hands that took the nails…make no mistake about it…These are special Hands. 

**All names have been changed to protect identity. 

 

PS  My daughter excitedly came in the house tonight to show me the first flower I ever kept alive in my life!  A picture of God's grace...

 

 

Isaiah 40:8 The grass withers, the flower fades,

But the word of our God stands forever."

 

Who do You Say I Am?

Matthew 16:15  He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?

Years ago, there was a famous plastic surgeon, Dr. Maxwell Maltz.  He spent his life changing “ugly” faces into “beautiful” ones.  He went on to write a best-selling book on the amazing personality changes that took place after these life-changing surgeries. 

Years after writing this best-selling book, Dr. Maltz learned the real truth.  That although these people’s faces changed, their hearts did not.  He would change their appearance so much that they would not even be recognized by their own families.  But he witnessed patient after patient complaining and insisting that their appearance had not changed at all.  You see, these people still looked in the mirror and saw the same “ugly” face they paid thousands to change.  Although their facial appearances changed drastically, the same distorted image they had of themselves continued to appear in the mirror. 

 

 

I sat quietly in the bible study as the Lord ministered to my heart.  I thought of this doctor’s experience and recognized the insanity of it all.  After all, that doctor had completely changed these people’s faces, but they just didn’t see it.  And then it became personal to me.  Was I one of these?  You see, I had gone my entire childhood feeling like a fat ugly duckling with crook teeth and a crooked smile.  I had inherited my jutting jawline and crowded teeth from my mom’s side of the family.  It bothered me so much and made me so insecure, that in 2000 I had my jaw broke during surgery to rearrange by jaw and make my teeth straight.  It really did change my appearance.  But to my amazement, even to this day, though many people don’t recognize me, I still see myself as that fat ugly duckling with the crooked smile. 

The Lord truly opened my eyes during this study.  I had never realized that I still saw this distorted image of myself.  I had to ask myself one very important question just like Jesus asked Peter in Matthew 16:15  “But who do you say I am?”   How does Jesus see me?  What is His image of me?  When I asked this question the Lord answered me in a mighty way.

 The High and Lofty One says…

I am His Beloved.  (Colossians 3:12)

I am His Child.  (Romans 8:16)

I am a disciple of the King (John 8:31)

I am able to approach His throne.  (Hebrews 4:16)

I am accepted by the King (Ephesians 1:6)

I am a friend of the King.  (Proverbs 18:24)

I am royalty. (1Peter 2:9)

I am chosen by Him.  (2Th2:13)

I am complete in Him.  (Col 2:10)

I am hidden in Him.  (Psalm 32:7)

I am His workmanship.  (Ephesians 2:10)

I am established in Him.  (Romans 1:11)

I am anointed by Him. (2Cr 1:21)

I am buried with Him.  (Romans 6:4)

I am baptized in Him. (Romans 6:4)

I have been risen with Him.  (Col 2:12)

I am a new creation in Him.  (2Cr 5:17)

I am made alive by Him.  (Ephesians 2:5)

I am adopted by Him.  (Romans 8:15)

I am never going to be separated from Him.  (Romans 8:39)

I am sanctified by Him. (1Th 5:23)

I am justified by Him. (Acts 13:39)

I am designed by Him.  (Jer. 1:50

And the list goes on and on.     So when I look in the mirror and see that old reflection of the ugly duckling from long ago, I praise God that Jesus shines His light of truth on my distorted image.  It’s Jesus who identifies who I am.  My perceived image is not the same as His.  Everything I do, say and my total existence is hinged on who Jesus says I am…in Him.  And that, my friends, is all that matters.  Because God’s word says I am not who I was and I will never be the same again.  And from this day forward, I praise God for the woman I see in the mirror because my identity is hidden in what Jesus did for me on the cross and He is my true reflection! 

He Really is Something Special!

Are they serious?  Do they really pay for me for this?  Some days I just can’t believe I get paid to be a nurse.  I have these awesome opportunities to be invited into people’s lives for a short period of time getting a glimpse of their heart, their families, and oftentimes the pain of life’s unmet expectations. 

So you can imagine what a treat it was when I met, Cecilia, an 87 year old woman.  As I got her medications ready to give to her, she shared she had just celebrated her 14^th wedding anniversary and her husband was healing at a nursing home with a fractured bone just like her.  She must have seen me counting in my head as she said 14 years of marriage.  Before I could ask her the story, a river of words flowed from her mouth.  “We’ve known each other since we were four years old,” she said.  My eyes lit up because she now had my undivided attention.  I said, “Oh this is going to be good.”  She went on, “When we graduated high school, he asked me to marry him.  But I said, ‘no.’” She explained that he went on to go into the service and when he returned, he asked to marry her again.  This time, she said yes.  “But there was a problem,” she said.  He wanted her to go and live with his mom.  She laughed when she told me.  I smiled trying to imagine living with my mother in law (whom I love dearly).  “So I said no again,” she said.  “And I moved to Hollywood!”  Now this story was getting better and better as she spoke.  “Then, we both got married to other people…”  Years passed by, and both of their spouses passed away.  “It was a sad time for both of us.  But then he found me, sent me a card, and the rest is history.”  She giggled like a woman in love as she remembered her love story.  I knew she wanted to tell me.  I could see she enjoyed it.  I loved every minute of it, too.  She shared her wedding details.  Both of their mothers were in the same nursing home.  They really wanted them to be at the wedding but they were unable to travel.  “So they said we could have it at the convalescent center.  We had a full house!  All the people that were in the convalescent home showed up and all of our friends came too!” 

Wow, what a beautiful story, I thought.  Then she looked at me and tears welled up in her eyes, “Yes, he really is something special.”  It stopped me in my tracks.  I saw the love she had for this man she had known since she was four years old.  After all these years, she still loved him and he was still special to her. 

Days went by and I still smiled when I thought of what Cecilia shared with me.  Just a couple days later, I was feeling down in the dumps.  Have you ever felt like that?  I just felt sad, stressed, depressed and all I wanted to do was stay home from work.  I was praying that they didn’t need me at work so I could just stay home and feel sorry for myself.  God had other plans, of course.  So I got up and went to work.  When I was in the car with my husband, I shared with him how I was feeling.  He said, “You know, you can ask Jesus to fill you with joy and He will.  You just have to ask.”  I had no idea how this would change the course of my day.  On my way into work, I said a short prayer to the Lord and asked for His joy.  Immediately He answered and I found myself praising God all day at work.  I even found myself thanking God for my awesome husband.  I said, “Yes, Lord, he really is something special.”  I smiled as I walked around in the joy of the Lord.  My prayer for that day was that I would not focus on myself, but I would focus on God’s call on my life and that I would be about His business and all that He wanted me to accomplish in His name. 

I took care of a woman that day that had gotten into trouble with the law.  She tried jumping off of a fence and she fell and broke her leg and her arm.  When this happened, she said she was crying out to God because she couldn’t get up and the law enforcement was dragging her in the dirt.  My heart went out to her.  Then she said, “I get frustrated sometimes because I realize I can’t accomplish what I want in my life by myself.  I should be able to do this by myself without God, right?”  Mark 10:21  Jesus looked at him and loved him.  I love this scripture.  Jesus sees his need and He loves him.  This is what I felt for her.  I loved her.  I shared with her that God is not looking for people who can do it by themselves.  He is looking for those who are completely humble and know they can’t do anything outside of Him.  It’s then and only then that He sets us free and saves us.  She said quietly at her bed, “I’d like that.”  So she sat up in her bed and I prayed with her as she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. 

What a remarkable Jesus we have.  As I walked away from this divine appointment, I saw the Lord do a total 180.  What I beautiful end to a day I wasn’t even wanting to start!  I went from being depressed and sad to being used by God in the way that He has called me to be used. And this woman went from being dead to being ALIVE FOREVERMORE!  He did it all and I see that my Jesus really is something special! 

**All names have been changed to protect identity

He Removes Her Halo

Hebrews 10:23  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

I have not ceased to praise the Lord for the last several weeks.  Who can begin to comprehend the depths of this great God we serve?  I don’t understand it…I don’t deserve it…but He continues to show Himself faithful over and over, without fail. 

I began my journey as a Christian with the Lord bringing me my first Christian friend, Anna.  That was in 2002.  We grew up in the Lord together and it was like having a close sister. Our relationship was sort of like Jonathan and David.  We loved each other like real sisters and it was a pleasure to grow up in the Lord with her.  I thought the other day how much we had been through together.  Much of the time has been spent apart with me living in Arizona and her in another state.  She’s just such a dear friend and as I write this story, I wait in great expectation to watch the Lord move you to greater faith in His Word because He who promised is faithful to perform it.

I first posted a blog about my friend, Anna, in June of this year.  It was a story of faith that was sparked inside of me after Anna told me to believe God to heal.  I was a new Christian and never really heard of healings and sure didn’t think they happened anymore if they ever did.  But through her encouragement, I dared to believe the Word and God moved mountains on this woman’s behalf.  If you haven’t read this, I want to encourage you to read one of the most remarkable miracles I have ever experienced  http://thewordofmytestimony.blogspot.com/2010/06/do-you-believe-god-healsdare-to-believe.html. 

About a year after this great miracle, my dear friend took a fall from her horse.  At first they thought it was a sprain and put a walking cast on her foot and waited for it to heal.  Month after month, she continued to have so many problems with her foot.  She was casted and off of work so long that she ended up losing her job.  Finally, she went for a second opinion and there they performed a CT scan of her foot.  The doctor informed Anna that several bones in her foot had been crushed and she had been walking on them for so long that he didn’t have any guarantees he could help her and it was a possibility that he wouldn’t be able to save her foot.  At the very least he would have to perform surgery on her foot.   He had given her instructions to come back after he looked over the records and they would plan surgery.

Anna called me to let me know that not only did she lose her job because she wasn’t able to return to her work, but that she had a broken foot and now at the very least they would perform surgery with the possibility she would never be able to use her foot again. 

When she shared this with me over the phone, I remembered what she told me about God healing people.  It’s funny how we have faith for other people to be healed, but it is so much harder when we are asking God in faith to receive healing for ourselves.  But I knew, if the Lord had healed a sick lady with cancer, why wouldn’t He also heal her?  So I shared with Anna that she didn’t have to believe this doctor’s report.  After all, God had spoken to the children of Israel about taking their land.  Numbers 14:31-32  But the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.” And they gave the children of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out.  God had given them a promise, but they believed a bad report and God punished them because of it.  We had a choice to believe a bad report or believe that God was greater than that report and He ultimately could heal her foot. 

Isaiah 1:18  Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord.  According to the Word, we reasoned together and believed that God didn’t want her to lose her foot.  So I said in faith, “forget the surgery.  This is what we are going to do.  I am going to pray for you over the phone and God is going to heal you, ok?”  Anna replied, “Ok.”  This agreement from Anna wasn’t like a weary “Ok.”  I knew when she said it, she believed and that was enough faith for the Lord to move.  So I prayed.  Now, I don’t even remember what I prayed, but I knew we both believed He would heal her and we waited for the supernatural.  There was no special prayer or special order that we had said the prayer.  I wasn’t even there to lay hands on her according to the Word of God.  It was just simply believing the Word.  As I prayed for her, she started to feel a funny feeling in her cast.  Then it started becoming really uncomfortable until finally she started feeling the bones move inside her cast.  It was almost as if she could hear them moving.  She was perplexed by what was happening.  Then suddenly, the bones tightened in her cast and  there was a huge pop in her foot.  Immediately, she knew she had been healed.  She said, “God just healed me.”  Now I don’t know why I was stunned, but I was.  I mean, we believed for healing, but it’s just so incredible when we see and hear God healing us!  I was so astonished by this experience and by the power of Jesus, I couldn’t even sleep that night. 

For the next week, she only spoke of healing.  She arrived to her surgeon who had every plan to do surgery on her foot and was still holding tight to her bad report that was tucked away safely in her medical records.  Before scheduling surgery, they performed another CT scan.  You could have heard a pin drop when the doctor came in to talk with Anna.  Flustered and feeling like he had made a huge medical error of misdiagnosis, he showed her that there was no longer any break in the foot.  After apologizing several times for making a huge medical error, Anna let him know that he had made no errors.  “No, you don’t understand.  I did have a break, but I prayed and believed God and He healed me,” Anna explained.  After Anna explained what Jesus had done for her, the doctor let her know that he didn’t believe in that kind of thing but she could call it whatever she wanted to call it.  All he knew was a couple weeks before she had several crushed bones in her foot, and now she had a perfectly normal foot.  Praise God.  If we just believe, He will move mountains for us and bones! 

Several years have gone by since that amazing healing of Anna’s foot.  I moved to Arizona and life just gets busy.  But I would always think about all of the great experiences we had together and how much the Lord taught us about the power of just believing in faith.  So you can imagine how deeply saddened I was by the email I received from her last month telling me she had gotten into a head-on car collision that almost killed her and left her with a broken neck.  I could literally feel the anguish she felt by her situation as I read through the email.  I felt the hopelessness in her heart when she asked, “Why does God allow these things happen to me?”  

I immediately called her to find out what had happened and to encourage her.  She explained that she had been hit head-on and had been in a halo for the past 6 weeks.  If you have ever seen anyone with a large, 12 pound, metal halo drilled into their skull that you need to wear 24/7, you can just imagine how uncomfortable that would be.  After six weeks, she could hardly stand it but she was going to have to wear it for another 7 weeks.  Over the past seven weeks, she had needed to have someone with her 24 hours a day to help her at all times.  It was an extremely difficult situation for her. 

My heart went out to her.  I knew she was extremely hopeless.  But I said, “Wait a minute.  Remember what the Lord has done?  Remember your foot?  Remember what God has done in your marriage?  Remember?”  We reminisced about what the Lord had done and I said, “Now, we are going to use that same faith and God is going to heal you again.”  

That evening while I was praying and reading the Word, the Lord spoke something so deep in my heart.  It was in the book of Job when Job’s friends wrongly accused him of being unrighteous and God was going to bring judgment on his friends.  But God told Job’s friends if they gave an offering to Job, that he would offer it to the Lord on their behalf and Job would pray for them.  Then his friends did as God commanded.   And there it was, one little scripture tucked away in the book of Job.  I saw it and it literally jumped off the page and into my heart.  Job 42:10  And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends.  There it was.  Now Job had lost his wife, his kids, his livelihood, his health, his wealth…he lost everything.  But it was AFTER he prayed for his friends (and took the attention off of his own problems), God restored all that he had lost.   I immediately called Anna back the next day and told her this is what the Lord had spoken to my heart.  I said, “Now here is what we are going to do.  For the next three weeks, until you return for your appointment, we are not going to pray about ourselves and our problems, but we are only going to pray for other people.  I am going to stand with you in agreement and we are about to watch the Lord perform another miracle.”  Anna agreed and in her voice, I knew she had received this from the Lord and I knew without a doubt, He would be faithful to heal her. 

For the next couple of weeks, we continued doing this.  One evening, I called her and she was out on a walk.  I said, “What?  You are walking?”  The first time I talked to her, she could hardly get around and had someone with her night and day to help her.  Now she was on a walk?  She confidently told me, I know in my body that the Lord has healed me.  I know the day it happened.  She shared, “You know, this time it was just between me and Jesus.  I know people were praying for me and people could have laid hands on me, but this time it was just a matter of believing Him.  Was I going to believe Him or was I not going to believe him?” It was so profound.  In fact, I got off the phone with her the first time we talked and was disappointed that I had not even though to pray for her.  But it wasn’t about me praying for her or laying hands on her.  You see, she received her healing as soon as she believed the Word.  It was as simple as that. 

Anna continued to share how she had started to ask the Lord to give her memory of the accident.  Floods of memories were coming back and she realized that the Lord protected her the whole time.  She said she remembers saying to herself, “Oh no.” That was right before the car hit her.  She said as the car hit her, she saw a huge shield come up in front of her like a huge hand.  She knows it was the Lord protecting her.  As the days went on, the Lord continued to bring back floods of memories of how He had intervened in her life.  The Lord brought back a memory when she was 18 years old.  She was walking from a beach up to some stores by herself.  She said some men stopped in a car and asked her for a ride.  She said no, but as soon as she said no, they pulled up alongside her and opened the car door really fast and started getting out.  As soon as they did that, they almost slammed into another car and had to drive off quickly.  She didn’t think anything about it then, but the Lord showed her that He had protected her from being abducted.  Then he brought to mind another time when she was babysitting.  A friend of another friend came over when she was babysitting and tried to attack her.  She must have blacked out and when she woke up, the bathroom was full of blood everywhere.  The guy who attacked her was all bloody like he had gotten beat up.  But there wasn’t a scratch or drop of blood on her.  The Lord showed her again, He had protected her.  Again he showed her when she was driving one cold winter, and she started to slip on the ice.  Another car was coming toward her to hit her and she saw herself go through the other car like a shadow.  It was like mist and she was on the other side.  Not a dent in her car and not a scratch on her.  She was supernaturally brought to safety and other people who witnessed it saw it happen just as she said.  Again, He brought her through without a scratch.  She said, “When I questioned God why He allowed my broken neck, He showed me these things.  And Now I realize, this accident and what I have gone through is for a bigger purpose.”   It was so amazing to see what the Lord had done in her heart since I had talked to her last.  He had sent so many people to encourage her heart and the Lord was doing a wonderful work. 

A week later was the big day.  She was going to the doctor to see her results.  That evening, I prayed for her and I told the Lord I believed He had healed her and I was looking forward to a good report.  There was a little wavering in my heart the next morning when I received a text message from her.  It read, “The CT scan doesn’t look good.  I am going on 100% faith right now.”  Immediately Hebrews came to mind, but I couldn’t remember where the scripture was.  I prayed, “ord, bring to remembrance this scripture.  All at once, it came to me and I typed it in my phone as fast as I could get it to her.  Hebrews 10:23  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.  Immediately, she took this Word from the Lord, went into the bathroom, got down on her knees with her 12 pound halo on her head and said, “Lord, I don’t care what it looks like.  I believe you healed me and I am thanking you for it.” 

Anna walked out of the bathroom and into the doctor’s office.  Her doctor held the report in her hand saying everything looks great and we are removing your halo.  Jesus healed my friend again.  He remained faithful to heal her body completely and she had this halo removed four weeks early because she dared to believe the Word.  What an amazing testimony of the love, faithfulness, and the power of Jesus Christ.  His Word is true and it will always produce the fruit when faith is applied. 

Through this most agonizing experience, Anna has seen God’s purpose in it all.  She has been able to witness to her brother and his wife and to many other hurting people who need Jesus.  She also believed the Lord to provide for her family financially through this situation.  She said daily checks continue to come in the mail for her medical bills and her family’s needs.  One day she told the Lord that she needed money to pay a bill.  She said, “I believed Him.  I just waited and it came.”  There was a knock on the door and a woman she had never seen before was at the door.  She introduced herself and explained that she was from the church down the street and every year they take a collection for a family and she handed her a check for $2000.  

I want to encourage you to take your requests to the Lord.  Come to Him with confidence.  This Word is above all, because God has magnified His Word above His Name.  Psalm 138:2  For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.  His Word is true and if applied with faith, it will produce 100% every time.  Let us rejoice in our King who is mighty to save, heal, and restore.  He is worthy to be praised and glorified 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.   

All Eyes Are On You, Lord

IKing 1:20 "And as for you, my lord, O king, the eyes of all Israel [are] on you, that you should tell them who will sit on the throne of my lord the king after him.

It’s been almost five years since that horrible day when our van was T-boned by a speeding car.  He was just a young kid speeding through a residential area flying through stop signs.  I still remember it like it were yesterday.  I was five months pregnant with my daughter and I had my 8 year old twins and my 1 year old daughter in the van with me.  I will never forget looking through the shattered back windows to see my son, Charlie, slumped to the side not responding.  This is forever etched in my mind.  This horrific accident and the head injury he received from smashing his head and breaking the window, set in motion years of neurological problems and set backs for Charlie. 

Now we consider ourselves to be reasonable people.  So after years of paying insurance, I guess we expected the insurance company to also be reasonable.  But an amazing phenomenon happens when you come to collect those years of paid premiums.  Your own insurance company becomes your enemy!  We didn’t ask for it, but it definitely happened.   It happened almost at once.  One day we were those good paying customers, and the next day we were considered exaggerators, liars, difficult people, and the list goes on. 

We, in fact, tried everything to negotiate with the insurance company for a fair settlement for Charlie’s injuries.  We took the Word of God to heart when it says in Luke 12:58 "When you go with your adversary to the magistrate, make every effort along the way to settle with him, lest he drag you to the judge, the judge deliver you to the officer and the officer throw you into prison.  The last thing we wanted to do was drag it out.  We tried and tried, but the insurance company just would not cooperate. 

There is an old song from the 1970s that used to be one of my favorite songs as a child.  It’s called “The Coward of the County” by Kenney Rogers.  I loved this song because the words were so awesome.  Throughout the whole song, the man is keeping his promise to his dad who has gone to prison.  He had made a promise not to be an outlaw like his dad and his dad tells him, it’s okay to turn the other cheek and not fight back.  But at the end of the song, he sings:

I promised you, Dad, not to do the things you done.
I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please don't think I'm weak, I didn't turn the other cheek,
and Papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man.
Ev'ryone considered him the coward of the county.

Sometimes you have to fight for what you believe.  We felt, as Charlie’s advocates and his parents, we had to fight for him.  So we did.  We hired an attorney and the fight started.  It has been over five years and we are still fighting for him.  It has been difficult and discouraging as we have had our character come into question as parents and Charlie’s character and integrity has been called into question as well.  It has been a journey to say the least. 

We have finally come to the end of the journey and we are scheduled for arbitration. Charlie’s attorney, Dave, has always fought for him.  He has always gone the extra mile.  He has been relentless.  So I was a little taken back when I talked to him last.  He had gotten off the phone with our insurance company’s attorney who wants to meet for mediation before arbitration.  Basically, this is their attempt to try to low ball us without going to arbitration where it is likely they will have to pay the policy limits.  Our insurance company’s attorney started dropping what I feel were seeds of doubt in Dave’s head.  The other attorney suggested that maybe Charlie’s head had never really even broken that window out of the van at all.  After all, that’s just what we said happened.  It’s not like anybody saw it.     

Dave had a meeting set up with Charlie’s neurologist on the following Friday.  He let the other attorney know he wouldn’t make any decisions about negotiations until he met with the neurologist.  Dave and I talked for a while and he shared, “This is the end.  We aren’t going anywhere else for an opinion.  Dr. T. is the best in the state and all eyes are on him and his opinion.”  He went on to warn me that a lot of times, even if the physician knows the symptoms are related to the trauma, they won’t be willing to testify.  Testifying takes time, it’s grueling, and quite frankly when these physicians are running large volume practices they just don’t have the time for it. 

When I put the phone receiver down after talking to Dave, I told my husband that I sensed  there was a loss of momentum in Charlie's fight.  I shared with my husband, “We need to be on our knees praying.  We can’t stop now.  We have to finish this fight.”  I knew in my heart that it didn’t depend on Dr. T. or even Dave for that matter.  The Lord knew the truth and He would bring about His plan and outcome with or without their cooperation because ultimately He was our attorney.  1John 2:1 …And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.   

The morning of the meeting between Dave and Charlie’s neurologist, Dr. T., I rose early and came before the Lord.  I let the Lord know that although Dave’s eyes are on Dr. T. for answers, my eyes were on Him.  I wasn’t going to trust in man’s testimony, but the Lord’s.  I read the Word and spent time Him.  There was a portion of my reading for the day that I didn’t have time to read, but I sensed from the Lord that I should read it.  It was in the Ezra Chapter 1.

Ezra 1:1  Now in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, that the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah might be fulfilled, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia, so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom, and also put it in writing..” 

This was as far as I got.  My eyes rose up off the pages of scripture and the Lord caused me to understand.  The Lord spoke to my heart promising that He was in perfect control of the meeting between Dave and Dr. T. that morning and He was indeed going to stir up Dr. T.’s heart to say the things he needed to say and not only that, but Dr. T. would be willing to put them in writing. 

I ran up the stairs where my husband was getting ready for work.  I said, “John, the Lord just spoke to us.  He is taking care of this.”

Two days past after the meeting and I still hadn’t heard from Dave.  When I finally got in touch with him, he said, “The meeting went even better than expected.  I wasn’t expecting it to go so well.  Dr. T. has agreed that all of Charlie’s symptoms are directly related to the accident and he was willing to put them in writing.”   Not only was he willing to put the facts in writing, but he allowed Dave to organize them and write them out and Dr.T.r agreed to sign the document!

Just thinking on what the Lord has done has brought me humbly to my knees.  He never fails us.  He never leaves us.  He always fights for us.  It has spoken volumes to me.  God is indeed in control of every situation and every word that is spoken.  I am blessed and thankful to be under the authority of such a loving, powerful Father!