Being Last

Mark 10:44  Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. 

 

It’s not natural to think of others first and to serve them.  In fact, I think of myself and my needs a lot more often than I think of others.  The world shows us we need to win in life.  We need to think of ourselves first.  The world says it’s best to win the race.  But the bible teaches winning the race means we come in last place.  Matthew 20:16  So the last will be first, and the first will be last. 

My nursing job is a huge blessing.  I know it’s a gift from God.  But I usually forget this fact some time during my week.  My focus turns away from the Lord and His service and on to myself.  Instead of my feet being shod with the Gospel of peace, I start to stomp my feet and make silly demands.  I ponder on my job’s shortcomings and their unfairness.  After all, why do I have to always be the one that gets floated off of the floor to other units?  Shouldn’t someone else have to do it?   And on and on it goes. 

Over the last several weeks, the Lord has taught me some very valuable lessons.  The first is, if I want to be servant of God, I must be willing to be last.  Mark 9:35  If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last.  If I want to be effective for the Lord, I must be willing to be last…the very last.  Secondly, my service to the Lord has NOTHING to do with me, but ALL do with Him.  To be successful in serving the Lord, it requires God’s grace.  It requires dying to myself.  It requires seeing life with an eternal perspective.  Matthew 6:19  Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  

 

Sadly, the last week, I stomped my feet.  I got floated off of my usual floor to the 8^th floor.  I have had some difficult days on this floor over the past several months.  Days where I left crying.  So when the charge nurse notified me I was being floated, I made my voice known.  I just didn’t want to have another day like I had last time.  I even threatened that I would go home.  But the Lord worked with me and reminded me that it’s NOT about me, and ALL about Him.  He directs my path.  I am blessed that I decided to follow Him.   

When I transferred to the 8^th floor, my first patient was a man named Joe who had a terminal disease.  He knew he was dying and he knew it wouldn’t be long.  He had made some choices in his life that cost him his health.  He started sobbing and telling me, “I just want to die.  If I am going to die, I just want to get it over with.”  He had nothing to live for.  He had nothing to look forward to. 

When he was crying, I told him the only thing I wanted him to think about today was how much Jesus thought of him and how much he loved him.  He sobbed even more.  That morning, I asked the Lord how I could serve Joe.  The Lord spoke to my heart, “Just serve him with love.”  So I did.  I brought him water.  I brought him food from the refrigerator.  I kept him informed.  I encouraged him.  I loved him.  I served him.  Never underestimate being last and serving others with the love of Jesus.  It just changes people.  By the end of the day, Joe was a new man.  The Lord had completely touched him.  He thanked me with a smile at the end of my shift for taking good care of him.  The love of God changes people.   

So with this experience, you would think the stomping of my feet would stop, right?  Well, it didn’t.  This week, staffing called me again and wanted to float me to the 8^th floor.  I protested and told them I didn’t want to go.  There was silence on the other end of the line, an awkward silence.  But the Lord caused me to remember.  Serving isn’t about me.  It’s all about Him.  It’s about being last.  So I died to myself and followed Him.      

There was this beautiful young woman lying in her bed deathly ill.  Grace had quit her job over the past couple of years because she had some many emotional and psychological problems that she couldn’t work.  She had three kids.  She was alone and unloved.  All day, I served her with the love of Jesus.  I brought her a warm towel for her forehead.  I brought her a basin when she got sick to her stomach.  I rubbed her back when she was nauseous.  I brought her medicine.  I shared with her how Jesus had changed my life and how much he loved her and wanted to change hers. 

Then she told me…the real reason for her pain and suffering.  Grace had attempted suicide when she was 15 years old right after she had had an abortion.  She had gotten pregnant and she was forced to have an abortion and kill her baby.  I just wanted to cry for her.  I could see the weight of guilt she carried around for almost 20 years.  It was a day I was very thankful to be last and serve Jesus with all my heart.  I got the privilege of telling Grace that any time she wanted to come to Jesus, He would forgive and restore her.  He would take that weight of sin off of her and remove her guilt as if it had never happened.  He could heal her body and heal her mind.  I just wanted her to know that Jesus still loved her.  Tears welled up in her eyes when I told her she could be free.  Jesus was her answer.   

Friends, it’s a beautiful thing to be last.  It’s a beautiful thing to serve Jesus with a His compassion.  It’s a joy to die to myself and serve Him.  I wonder why I don’t do it more often.  I wonder why I come back time and time again wanting to serve myself when Jesus has proved to me what it’s like to be last and a servant of all.  Friends, let’s come over that finish line last.  The world won’t understand it.  But if we are willing to be last, it’s then and only then, we will be first.   

Below is a song by Lincoln Brewster that has ministered to me in this time of growth with the Lord.  It’s called “The Power of His Name”  Below are some of the words to this song. 

Jesus Your name

Is a shelter for the hurting
and Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need

And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name

***All names have been changed to protect identity.