...This is vanity, and it is an evil affliction Ecclesiastes 6:3

I admit that this is a difficult story to share with you…after all, I am a Christian and I like everyone to believe that my life shines for Jesus 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But honestly, I have a lot of faults and flaws and sometimes what goes on my heart isn’t at all what I’d like anyone to see. But God has made it clear that I am not alone in my struggles to live a righteous life for Him. It doesn’t make me or you less loved by Jesus because we fall or struggle through this journey with Him. In fact, I really only put my confidence in what Jesus says, and His Word says: Proverbs 24:16 For the righteous man may fall seven times and rise again. It’s a beautiful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God and His Word gives me hope beyond measure. I know I can fall and the Lord will pick me up and continue to use His Word to correct me and change me through and through. Daily He polishes me and refines me so that my light shines brightly in this very dark world. I am thankful for the work that Jesus painstakingly chooses to continue to do in my life daily. I pray that you call out to the Lord for His Word…this Word that can change anyone. This glorious Word can deliver you from anything that holds you captive!

...This is vanity, and it is an evil affliction Ecclesiastes 6:3

The dust flew from the tires of my black Saturn as I fishtailed on the gravel road. Finally regaining control of my car, I drove cautiously down the loose graveled road. I couldn’t help my eyes traveling to the side of the road where I saw a steep ravine several feet deep with a creek flowing wildly after a hard rain. I almost ended up in there, I thought to myself. I looked in my rear view mirror at the terrified look in my 4 year old twins’ faces.

My heart pounded in my chest as I drove the rest of the way to church. I quietly recollected my composure after that close call. What was I thinking? The truth is, I had been looking at myself in the rear view mirror checking my make up. This was something I had been doing a lot of lately. I had almost lost control of my car and caused harm to my kids because I had been primping myself in the mirror. A deep feeling of “vanity” came over me and I was sick to my stomach. I hated the feeling that I had, but wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. For the first time, I recognized that there was something deeply wrong with adoring myself.

The next morning, I awoke to start my day. I had this deep, nagging feeling all morning that I had dreamt about something, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I sat down in the morning to have quiet time with the Lord. I opened my bible and came before the Lord and immediately the Holy Spirit spoke six simple Words to my spirit. “Remember what happened to your head?” I thought to myself, “My head….?” All at once, as if I was having the dream all over again, I recalled every detail of the dream in specific detail. It came flooding back to me with lightning speed as if I was having the dream all over again.

In my dream, I was sitting around a table with several other men. I was looking at myself from the outside. As I was watched my body language, I could see that I was clearly flirting with the men around the table. I was positioning myself between the men to be the center of them and it was if I was drawing them to look at me. In the middle of the table, hanging from the ceiling, was an old fashioned lamp that was drawing a lot of heat from it, as I could see the steam come off of it. I stood up from the table and I was leaning in to draw the attention of the men and just as I stood up, the top of my forehead touched the hot lamp. I could hear the sizzle of my flesh and could smell the burnt hair from my head. I said in my dream, “Ouch,” and as a natural reaction put my hand on the burnt flesh. When I looked down at my hand, I saw a charred piece of hair in the palm of my hand. Alarmed, I rushed to a mirror to look at myself. As I continued dreaming, I could see the reflection of the lamp in the mirror and it was swinging back and forth. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was horrified to see that I had a large bald spot where my hair had been burned off and a charred scab on my head.

I knew instantly that the Lord had something He wanted to speak to me. Honestly, I was a little bit scared about what He had to say. I was completely shocked at the vividness of this dream and I had no idea what it was all about. Quietly, I asked the Lord, “What does this mean, Lord, and what are you trying to tell me?” This had never happened to me before. God had never brought to remembrance a dream to me like this with such specific accuracy. I knew deep down He desired to speak to my heart and into my life.

I pondered the dream for a few minutes and then I opened up my book, “Where to Find it in The Bible” and searched for the word “scab.” There was one scripture in the bible and it had been a scripture I had never read before. There before me was Isaiah 3:16-17 and the Lord showed me clearly what He was saying to me. Isaiah 3:16-17 The Lord says, “The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles. Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the Lord will make their scalps bald.”

Quietly I prayed with my head bowed and a deep sadness in my heart. I had no real words to say to my Lord. The Lord had corrected me firmly and I knew it. For the first time in my life, I recognized this beast called “vanity.” I knew in my heart I needed to repent of this and be changed by the Word. Fear gripped me, as this was a sin I had grown accustomed to, so much so I really didn’t even see it as a problem. But this day, the Lord opened my eyes and I saw it for what it really was...sin. That minute, I made a total 180 degree turn. I repented before the Lord knowing for the first time that this was a sin that would lead me nowhere fast…and far away from God in a hurry.

I rested in the Lord quietly for some time. And then it happened…deep down in my heart something moved in me. Instead of sadness, I had a glorious hope. I hope to be changed by God’s Word. Who was I that God would take the time to put this dream together, help me find the answers in His Word, and correct me…a correction that led to repentance! I knew without a doubt God loved me so much that He desired change in my life. This wasn’t the “change” the politicians talk about, but this was the real thing.

This was a morning that would change me forever. I’d love to say that after that day, I never struggled with this sin ever again. But if I told you that, I’d be a liar. I continuously need to bring my life, my attitudes, and my behavior before the Lord and into subjection to His Word. It’s something I always watch out for and continuously examine my motives, behaviors and intentions. But my God is faithful to see me through every hurdle in my life every day.

I pray this is a great encouragement to those who struggle with a sin in their life. Maybe it’s a sin that you have battled against for a long time. Maybe it’s a sin you’ve battled with for so long that you’ve just grown accustomed to having this lingering nuisance in your life. I’m here to tell you…If God can change me with His Word, He can change you. He is faithful to deliver us from our troubles, not just once, not just twice, but every time. He is faithful and His Word is true. He desires that you live free from the bondage of sin. His blood is so powerful…even if He shed one drop of His blood, it would have delivered the world, but He chose to shed every drop of His blood for you!

2Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.