2 Corinthians 4:9 ...Struck down but not destroyed.
What a delight to worship my King. Yesterday, my daughter was asleep on the couch, the whole house was quiet, and I turned on some praise music to worship my King. I folded clothes and just had a sweet time worshipping Him and giving Him all my attention. As my heart worshipped Him, he revealed His love for me and it was so perfect!
Just a couple of weeks ago, I had cut my thumb on a piece of glass. It was really deep and I required 7 stitches. After I cut it, I had numbness in the thumb. I was referred to a hand specialist, Dr. Butler, who recommended I get the nerve repaired. I had cut the finger right above the ulnar nerve and he felt it was probably severed all the way. Unfortunately, this nerve is like a rubber band so when it is cut, it retracts back into the hand and they need to go under a scope and find it and suture it back together. Last Thursday, I had the surgery and Dr. Butler said he was pleased because it had only partially severed the nerve and it wasn't cut all the way through. He was able to take the nerve and pull it back together and suture it. He said my prognosis was good, that although for the first month or so I wouldn't be able to feel the thumb, eventually the feeling would come back and he thinks I will get full function back in the thumb. I was so happy!
As I worshipped God and sang to Him, He showed me that this this thumb surgery experience was a great comparison to my life. He brought to mind how before I was saved, I was struck down, but satan didn't destroy me. There was still a little bit of me that was still "attached" and the Lord took it and brought it back together and sutured my life up. Then He brought to mind how difficult it was when I first got saved. I had lost everything....my husband, my home, my car, my job. I had lost control of my kids' behavior. I didn't even have enough money to get back to Wisconsin to live with my parents. My dad sent me plane tickets to get me home. When I finally got home, I was literally like a walking zombie. I didn't know my right hand from my left. The Lord reminded me that I didn't "have feeling" for a while, but He continued to breathe life into my heart with His very Word and the "feeling" came back. Just like my thumb, after several months, the feeling started to return. He restored me completely. He took my severed life, sewed it up, and put feeling back into my life and when He did, I could function. He breathed the very breath of life into me like He was performing CPR on an unconscious person. That person was me. He reminded me that I wasn't destroyed. I was struck down, but it was ONLY BECAUSE OF HIM that He never allowed satan to take me out. He allowed Him to go so far. Satan could only go as far as leaving that little piece of nerve left still attached. I hadn't walked too far away from God to be brought back, because I still had that little part of my heart still attached and God could still work with me. He carried me even through that time. It was ONLY because of HIM that I live today. He was the one who covered me during that time because He has a plan for me. Isn't that amazing?
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. God knit me together when He created me and then He, like a Good Shepherd, went and found His lost little sheep who had gone astray, and He knit me together again. And then if that was not enough, he breathed His life-giving Word in me and restored me completely. I can honestly say that all of my greatest childhood experiences all the way to adulthood, I consider a great loss in comparison to knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior and walking with Him intimately over the past 11 years.
So I praise Him for going after me, finding me, knitting me back together and breathing life and "feeling" back into me. He restored my soul and I know without a doubt I have found the true meaning of life..truly living for Jesus Christ.
