My legs ached as I rounded the corner at the 13th mile marker. The battle in my head had begun at mile 5 and by mile 13 there was a full-on war going on in my head. Should I stop and walk? Should I keep going? I never really wanted to do this anyway, so I should stop! As the sweat drops dripped from my hair, I wiped my dry lips. My shoulders were sunburned and my head pounded from dehydration. My whole body longed to stop and rest, but I continued to lift one knee up, as the other foot continued to make contact with the concrete. Over and over it went. I could hear a voice in my head saying “I will never do this again.” This voice didn’t sound quite the same as the voice who told me I could run a half marathon just four months before. I could hear my labored breathing and my shoulders and chest quivered from the energy being poured out of my body. Then I saw it…the finish line. It seemed like a million miles away and I swore they had made a mistake…that last 0.1 miles dragged on for what seemed to be hours. Dragging my body across the finish line, after 2:02:47, I had finally made it. My first half marathon was complete.
I had met my goal…to finish a half marathon. That was it, I just wanted to finish. I had no time goal. Unlike the Apostle Paul, I was running with uncertainty and I was beating the air. I had no real plan. In fact, the truth was, I had limited knowledge of running altogether. I was undisciplined, untrained, and lacked nutrition. You see, I thought I could run the race well without the discipline. That pesky “discipline” part that I didn’t like to talk about. I knew hard training and giving up my cookies would take discipline and hard work. It meant I had to deny my flesh in order to improve as a runner. At the time, I just didn’t have the foresight to see past the cookie in my hand and my nice warm bed at 4:15 in the morning. Isn’t this the way we are in life sometimes? We can’t see past what we are doing today and because of this, we exchange the truth for a lie. A little bit of God is enough. We think if we just get into heaven, that’s good enough. Maybe our foot will be through the door of heaven with the door slamming shut on the other half of our body, but at least we got to Heaven, right? Is this how we want to finish the race being nearsighted with the here and now? But Jesus says, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 2Corinthians 2:9. Is there anything from the Lord that we would want to miss? Is being lazy spiritually and lacking the ability to keep our eyes on the eternal prize at the end really worth missing anything that He has for us? Because He has much for those He loves and He says it hasn’t even entered into our heart or into our imagination what He has for us. If I can’t even imagine what it is He has for me, trust me, I don’t want to miss it.
1Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.
About a year after this long, 2:02:47 run, I made a decision. I would do things differently. I made a decision to discipline my body and bring it into subjection physically that I would reap the benefits and improve as a runner. This bodily exercise and discipline only profited me a little, but what the Lord taught in this running journey has brought so much to my life spiritually. I have learned to work hard in training, to say no to cookies when I never did before, and to get out of bed to run when it is cold. This is all because, by faith, I have not taken my eyes off the prize. I have been able to stop living for today and to see who I desire to be in the future, both as a runner and spiritually. I have been able to deny myself in the moment of desire to eat that cookie, because I can see the benefit to denying myself in the future, as a runner and as a woman of God. I have learned to fight against the battle in my mind to stop before the finish line when I grow weary and to trust the Lord to carry me when I am weak.
2Timothy 4:6-8 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, and I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
It has been months of disciplined running, improved nutrition, and looking to the finish line for the prize. I have fought the good fight. I trained hard and disciplined this old body of mine. On January 16, 2011, it was my opportunity to see the fruit of my labor. Over and over in my head, I heard my running coach. “Be smart when you run. You need to watch your splits closely. Don’t go out too fast. You need to keep your pace. If you feel good at 10 miles, you can start picking it up. But I don’t want you to go too fast.” The night before the race I thought to myself, “This is it.” This is the end of the road for me. I was going to see the results of the hard work and nutrition choices I had made for the past four months of training.
That evening I rested on my bed praying and thinking about my race. My husband leaned his head in the room and told me I should get to bed and get some rest. I knew I needed to, but I just wanted to spend 15 minutes in God’s Word to see what He had to say to me. About five minutes into reading the Word, God spoke to me so powerfully. Matthew 15: 21-28 Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” But He answered and said, “it is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O WOMAN, GREAT IS YOUR FAITH! LET IT BE TO YOU AS YOU DESIRE.” You see I had done all of the necessary discipline of my body, improved nutrition, proper training, and now it was just a matter of faith. I saw that the woman had faith and Jesus told her “Let it be to you as you desire.” I received this Word from the Lord and in my heart I saw what I desired and it was to finish the race meeting my goal of 1:43.
I have a GPS watch that I use and it is important equipment for a racer, as this is what tells me what pace I am going. That night, as I slept, I dreamt that it didn’t turn on. I awoke in the morning and kind of laughed to myself. “I must be really stressed out about this race,” I thought. I went to my Garmin and tried to turn it on, but it wouldn’t. I pushed every button on that thing, and it was completely dead. Immediately, panic struck me. I heard the words of my coach to keep my eye on how fast I was going. I tried every avenue to get the thing turned on to no avail. Panic turned to peace, when again the Lord spoke to my heart. “Do not put your trust in your Garmin, you can trust Me.” I immediately received this from the Lord and knew that He would bring me across the finish line, no matter how He wanted to do it. I knew this race about my faith and it was just between the Lord and me.
The sun had just come up and I stood in my corral getting reading for the gun to go off. I had no idea what to expect during this race, but I knew that the Lord was with me and God had renewed my mind. Because this time I could see the finish line and nothing would deter me from crossing it, with or without my Garmin. As the shot rang out, one leg in front of the other, I was completely trusting in the Lord. About a half mile into the race, there was a woman next to me running about my pace. The Lord brought her to me and she paced me the entire race. We didn’t say more than two words the entire time. We almost breathed together in sync for 13 miles and I didn’t even know her name. The Lord was faithful to me in every way.
This race proved to be a different experience for me altogether. I believed God and His Word and I put all of my trust in Him and not my Garmin or anything else. In fact, the next day, I went to turn on the Garmin and it fired up like nothing was ever wrong with it! I had already trained hard. I had disciplined my body and now I just needed to trust the Lord. This time I would finish well. Yes, there was still a battle in my mind. Yes, my breathing was still labored. Yes, my legs ached. Yes, I longed to stop. But this time I had my eyes fixed on the prize. This time, I could forget the here and now and look past the miles and see mile 13.1…and the finish line that was just beyond it. This time I had run with purpose. I had finished the race. I had brought my body in line with my vision. The fruit of my labor and trust in my Lord was evidenced by crossing the finish line strong at 1:42:45.
One day, I will forget all about this race. I will forget all about how I shed sweat and pounds to cross the finish line well. In fact, when I receive my eternal crown, I will not even think about it all. One thing I have learned from my running experience is the ability to look ahead. I am able to see how I want to finish the race of life. I want to fight the good fight of faith and receive the crown that the Lord has laid up for me. I don’t want to miss a thing. I don’t want to miss a person who needs to know about Jesus. I don’t want to miss one act of kindness that would show the love of Jesus. I don’t want to miss God’s voice any time in my life. I don’t want to miss one treasure in His Word. I just want to run well. I just want to see the finish line where the prize is. Not the prize that perishes, but the eternal prize of Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.
